Getting your toddler to eat need not be a war of wills.

PETER made a face when he detected something green in his fried rice. No, it was not a worm, just a harmless shred of spinach. Peter is becoming extremely fussy with food. Welcome to the world of toddlers!

As a baby grows into a toddler, you will see dramatic changes in his eating habits. Easy spoon-feeding becomes history as your toddler starts self-feeding.

He begins to express his preference for a certain food to the extent of wanting it everyday while waging war against others, usually vegetables.

Sometimes he licks his plate clean but generally you find him eating less now. He kicks up a fuss when he sees his chicken “touching” the carrot on his plate.

Or a tantrum erupts when gravy is drizzled over his rice. And he drives you to boiling point by playing with food that you have painstakingly prepared. Is your little one becoming a monster? No, he is just maturing.

For a smoother ride through this picky eating phase, let’s look at it from Mum’s angle and from junior’s perspective.

Mum has junior’s nutritional interests at heart. She believes that junior needs good nutrition for optimum growth and development. So when junior refuses food, Mum resorts to coaxing, cajoling, bribing, threatening and lastly forcing him to eat.

This sets off mealtime battles. Moreover, up till now, junior has depended fully on Mum for food and everything else. So Mum feels unprepared and challenged by junior’s sudden urge for independence. She finds it hard to relinquish her control over him.

On the other hand, junior is suddenly aware of the many things around him that are begging to be explored. Sure, he feels hungry at times but discovery, fun and new experiences are top priorities now.

Through them, he makes remarkable progress mentally, physically, emotionally and socially. So food takes a back seat. In fact, his declining appetite is normal and in tandem with his slower growth rate at this stage.

To be precise, junior experiences growth spurts, during which he grows very rapidly over several weeks, and that accounts for his good appetite then, before lapsing into slow growth mode again.

But for sure, junior will never starve himself. If only Mum knows this, she will have more peace of mind and nag less.

Once you understand that junior’s changing attitude towards food is a part of his development, you will be able to manage his quirky eating habits better.

Mealtimes should be happy times. You should impart positive attitudes towards food and create pleasant eating experiences for your child so that he grows up healthy and with high self-esteem.

For example, a child who is not force-fed but instead is allowed to use his own discretion on how much to eat, will feel more confident and in control.

By heeding his natural fullness and hunger signals, he will less likely become obese. In contrast, a child who has to fight constantly at the dining table would tend to become stubborn or defiant because if we look deeper, mealtime battles are not only about food but are actually wars of wills between mother and child.

So how do we fill a fussy toddler’s tummy and make his mealtime happy?

Here are some tips to help you.

· Accept your changing role, from spoon-feeding a baby to supervising a self-feeding toddler. This will reduce force-feeding and fights.

· Keep mealtimes regular and have variety to stimulate appetite.

· Introduce new foods alongside familiar ones and make foods easy to eat.

· A tired toddler has no interest in food. Let him rest well before serving him food.

· Food refusal may be a gimmick to get attention. If so, hug or play more with the little one to solve the problem.

· If junior boycotts vegetables, grate, chop or mash them. Then sneak the vegetables into soups, porridge, sandwiches or pies.

· Shapes and colours appeal to kids. Employ them in your choice of foods and crockery.

· Use interesting, child-friendly crockery. A melamine plate with different compartments will prevent foods from “touching” each other. Junior will also get to appreciate the unique taste of each food.

· Serve child-sized portions of food. Do not worry that your child is not eating enough. By nature, babies and young children eat when hungry, stop when full.

Lastly, set a good example yourself. Little junior is watching closely. – Article courtesy of Nestle Nutrition