How to help your child overcome her fear of washing hair.

MY daughter will be four years old in two months’ time. She is terrified of washing her hair. This has been a problem for her from very young.

I have tried many ways to get her to relax when taking a shower. For example, she role-plays washing hair for her Barbie doll, plays with her toys in the bathtub and sing songs.

When I asked her why she was so scared of washing her hair, she told me she was afraid that water would get into her eyes. She asked me to get her a pair of goggles. – Worried Mother

Your daughter may have gotten soap suds into her eyes, nose or mouth when washing her hair. Listen carefully to what she has to tell you about her problems with hair washing.

Don’t be too quick to brush aside her feelings. She may be sensitive to the way you approach her problem. The more time you spend listening attentively to your child, the better she will feel.

Many children around this age have problems with water and soap getting into their eyes. They worry even at the anticipation of having their hair washed. Sometimes no amount of coaxing can convince them.

Your child needs to feel she is in control when it comes to washing her hair. You can make suggestions but the final decision lies with her. When one way does not work, try another. Let her find the most suitable way to wash her hair so that she will be reassured that she will not get water into her eyes.

Try out her suggestion of using goggles. Focus on the best way for her to have her hair washed. A suggestion coming from your daughter is always worth trying because she feels she has the power to make a change.

Offer to let her wash your hair to show you how she wants her hair washed. Organise a family hair wash session where everyone gets a hair wash. Explore different ways of washing hair, for example, using a towel to cover the face or having hair washed with the head tilted to the back. This is a fun way for everyone in the family to help your daughter work out her problem.

You may want to give her a mirror to look at how her hair is being washed while you are doing it. Children feel less fear when they can see what is going on.

Use a cooperative approach instead of providing her with the answers that you think may work. Be patient with her. It may take some time before she feels reassured. Children in their early childhood years build their confidence gradually but surely.

To settle her fears, you need to help her work on possible solutions. Avoid telling her what is best for her; rather, let her try to work it out using different approaches. While it may take time for her to let go of her fears, your support and trust can make a big difference.