Hi everyone..long time didn't update my blog cause lately busy update on my Mj Accessories (blogshop) so anyway I have received a forwarded email from my friend and is very nice & funny story so decided to share it out~
Enjoy... :)

Never Annoy A Woman

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for
Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a
beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all
the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw
her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello, How are you! We've
been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a
wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.

About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to
watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was
guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told
her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while
you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the
little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife
and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and
I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What
a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis", she replied.

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry . . . there will be Hell to
pay!

NB: The longest word currently listed in the Oxford dictionary is the
supposed lung-disease pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
(45 letters).

This joke is forwarded from my friend
Here's the fun part, enjoy it...



"Daddy? How did I come into this world?"

"Well, my child, some day I'll have to tell you anyway."

"So why not today? Please!"

"OK, but listen carefully."

"Mom and Dad met each other in a cyber cafe.

In the restrooms of that cyber cafe, dad connected to mom.

Mom at that time made some downloads from dad's memory stick.

When dad finished uploading we discovered we used no firewall.

Since it was too late to cancel or delete,

nine months later we ended up with a virus..."

Please click this link to watch this clips.
They are really good~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nsyz89L9s0

Pak Lah, Najib and Samy V were patrolling in a helicopter
Samy:'if I drop a thousand-note from here, the person that picks it up
must be very happy'
Najib:'if I throw 2 five hundred-notes down, it will make 2 person happy'
Pak Lah:'if I drop 10 one hundred-note, there will be 10 happy person'
The pilot murmuring to himself:'why don't all of you just jump down from
here, that makes 210million person happy'


Samy V wish to enhance his reputation by publishing 1 series of stamps
with his portraits
1 month after the launch, Samy surveys about its sales – Post Office
Chief:'not bad… but quite number of complains that the glue is not strong
enough'
Samy:'really…?' he spit at the back of the stamp and stick the stamp on
an envelope 'the glue is ok'
Post Office Chief: 'but… every one spits on the face of the stamp ….'

Midnight, Najib went for supper and bump into a robber: 'give me all your
money!!'
Najib was very angry:'I am the honorable Deputy Prime Minister! Better
behave yourself'
Robber:' well, then … return all my money'


One fine day, PM and parliament members were on the way to a meeting
where they all crashed into an accident and being rushed to the hospital.
The reporters were at the hospital, the doctor shook his head 'we have
done our best to rescue the PM but …'
Reporters:'how about Najib?'
Doctor:'we were unable to rescue him either …'
Reporters:'who have you saved?'
The doctor was exicted:'Malaysia is saved (has a hope) now'


Samy V visited the psychiatric hospital. All the patients hurray for him
but there is one patient who ignored Samy
Samy:'why is he not well coming my arrival?'
'he is normal (not insane) today' say the doctor


Samy V had an accident when he was on his way to a village for election
campaign
A farmer saw and rushed to the scene but all the passengers were dead. He
buried all the passengers (politicians).
Few days later, the police in charge found the farmer and asked where all
the politicians were,'have they all died?'
Farmer:' hmmm, Samy was screaming that he is still alive when I bury him
….'
Police' why you buried him anyway?'
Farmer'because Samy never tells the truth'

A mature (over 30) lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don't Mess With Mature Ladies

I love this Doctor


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!



Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'


AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you

The Norwegian newspaper VG has reported a truly amazing story about a newly-wed trying to get to Norway to be with her husband, and the stranger who helped pay an unexpected luggage surcharge. The blog 'Leisha's Random Thoughts' has translated the story.

It was 1988, and Mary Andersen was at the Miami airport checking in for a long flight to Norway to be with her husband when the airline representative informed her that she wouldn't be able to check her luggage without paying a 100 surcharge:

When it was finally Mary's turn, she got the message that would crush her bubbling feeling of happiness.

-You'll have to pay a 103 dollar surcharge if you want to bring both those suitcases to Norway, the man behind the counter said.

Mary had no money. Her new husband had travelled ahead of her to Norway, and she had no one else to call.

-I was completely desperate and tried to think which of my things I could manage without. But I had already made such a careful selection of my most prized possessions, says Mary.

As tears streamed down her face, she heard a 'gentle and friendly voice' behind her saying, 'That's okay, I'll pay for her.'
Mary turned around to see a tall man whom she had never seen before.

-He had a gentle and kind voice that was still firm and decisive. The first thing I thought was, Who is this man?

Although this happened 20 years ago, Mary still remembers the authority that radiated from the man.

-He was nicely dressed, fashionably dressed with brown leather shoes, a cotton shirt open at the throat and khaki pants, says Mary.

She was thrilled to be able to bring both her suitcases to Norway and assured the stranger that he would get his money back. The man wrote his name and address on a piece of paper that he gave to Mary. She thanked him repeatedly. When she finally walked off towards the security checkpoint, he waved goodbye to her.

Who was the man?

Barack Obama.

Twenty years later, she is thrilled that the friendly stranger at the airport may be the next President and has voted for him already and donated 100 dollars to his campaign:

-He was my knight in shining armor, says Mary, smiling.

She paid the 103 dollars back to Obama the day after she arrived in Norway. At that time he had just finished his job as a poorly paid community worker* in Chicago, and had started his law studies at prestigious Harvard university.

Mary even convinced her parents to vote for him:

In the spring of 2006 Mary's parents had heard that Obama was considering a run for president, but that he had still not decided. They chose to write a letter in which they told him that he would receive their votes. At the same time, they thanked Obama for helping their daughter 18 years earlier.

And Obama replied:

In a letter to Mary's parents dated May 4th, 2006 and stamped 'United States Senate,

The parents sent the letter on to Mary.

Mary says that when her friends and associates talk about the election, especially when race relations is the heated subject, she relates the story of the k ind man who helped out a stranger-in-need over twenty years ago, years before he had even thought about running for high office.

Truly a wonderful story, and something that needs to be passed along in the maelstorm of fear-and-smear politics we are being subjected to right now.

UPDATE: Thanks for the recommends, folks! Also, remember this was 1988, when 100 dollars was quite a bit of money, compared to today's value

Quick a silly joke...



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a set of bathroom scales.
And then the fight started...
------------
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she
sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
------------
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
------------
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and then the fight started ...
------------
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the
window.
He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to
his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and
screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
And then the fight started ...
------------
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started...
------------
My wife and I are watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'
while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
------------
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.

He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.

Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral : Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "

This is really a funny joke...

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Marian $hih

The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:

Dear Marian

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

(Written by kids)

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?


You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

- Alan, age 10

*********

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

- Kristen, age 10

*********

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?


Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10

*********

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?


You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

*********

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?


Both don't want any more kids.

- Lori, age 8

*********

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?


Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

*********

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

- Martin, age 10

*********

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?


I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
- Craig, age 9

*********

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?


When they're rich.

- Pam, age 7 (smart girl)

*********

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- Curt, age 7

*********

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

- Howard, age 8

*********

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?


It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

*********

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T G ET MARRIED?


There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

- Kelvin, age 8

*********

And the #1 Favorite is........



HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.

- Ricky, age 10

A priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his mission in the jungle where he had spent years teaching the natives when he realized that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. So he took the chief for a walk in the forest. He pointed to a tree and said to the chief, 'This is a tree.'
The chief looked at the tree and grunted, 'Tree.'

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing! Take heed and pass these along to people who need a laugh.

Have a good laugh!

How much would it cost to (telephone) call Malaysia from Hell? You'd be
surprised!

Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton and Ahmad Badawi die and go to hell. But
the devil has only one phone there. Queen says, I miss my England , can I
use your phone and hear how my people are doing down there.

She calls and talks about five minutes. Then she asks: Well devil, how
much do I owe you for the call? The devil says: Five million pounds. She
writes him a cheque and goes back to her chair .

Clinton wants to make a call too. He says I wanna call the US . He talks
about ten minutes, then asks how much do I owe you devil? The devil says
Ten million dollars He also writes a cheque and goes back to his seat

Badawi is jealous. He says I want to call Malaysia . He calls and
talks for about an hour to his son-in-law who is busy trying to
find Mr.Petronas. Then he asks the devil how much do I owe you?

The devil replies: only one dollar. Badawi is shocked and asks
'why so little?'.

The devils says: if you make a call from one hell to another, IT'S LOCAL
CALL.

My friend who forwarded to me, so share to u all...

• THE SILENT GENERATION people born before 1946.
• THE BABY BOOMERS people born between 1946 and 1959.
• GENERATION X people born between 1960 and 1979.
• GENERATION Y people born between 1980 and 1995.

Why do we call the last one GENERATION Y? I did not know, but a caricaturist explains it eloquently below...
Learned something new!
Now, make someone else laugh. And have a great day.

Last Friday night went for birthday dinner with my colleauges at Look Out Point @ Ulu Langat.
hmmm...let me think
Yuh...this is my 3rd times came to this restaurant
the food not bad...good weather & nice view there
and we also had sparkle juice for FREE!!! but the cake of course we bought
If interested wait until birthday then go there so they might be give the FREE sparkle juice or maybe something else...hehehe
and also really thank to my best friend - Audrey who organized this surprise dinner for Pei Ling's belated birthday :)


Look Out Point Western Food
Lot 1, Kompleks Pelancongan, Menara Tinjau
Jalan Ampang, Selangor.
Mr. Dennison Lukose - 019 250 8379
Busuness Hour:
Sun-Fri : 11am ~ 1am
Saturday : 11am ~ 2am

www.allfoodnet.com/?lookoutpoint